So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
