Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
