i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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