Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize