I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
