I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
love makes seman taste better
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
