Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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