Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
