i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
