So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
