Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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