Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
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i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
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We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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