My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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