It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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