HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
