I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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