woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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