i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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