Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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