he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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