i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
