Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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