Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
