how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
