Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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