haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
