I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
