I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
