I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize