Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
