Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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