I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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