I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
