Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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