who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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