Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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