its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
