Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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