8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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