Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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