wrigley field is MILF paradise
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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