I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
