So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize