I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
