i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
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Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
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What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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