ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
