Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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