The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
