It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize