he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
