shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
