Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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