just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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