Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
