We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
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I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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