doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
