More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize