eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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