i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
