OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life