We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
