Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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