chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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