when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
