1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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