Christians are straight up FREAKS
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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