Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
