You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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