"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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