Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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