I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Edward fifth and chaser hands
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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